Suddenly, I Have Perspective

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Suddenly, I Have Perspective

Special Needs Parenting Picture

Special Needs Parenting Picture

I was recently presented with a question:

What is your autism super power?

I immediately answered:

Perspective

From the second that Adam took his first breath, I had this feeling deep in my gut that raising this child would be a different experience than with my two older children. My intuition was on high alert. To this day, I still  can’t explain it. Never in a million years did I imagine that I would raise a child with autism and a seizure disorder.

Never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine burning through our savings, have to refinance our house not once, not twice, but three times in order to keep up with the insurmountable medical and therapy bills that we would soon face. The term college fund is humorous to me; for college will be out of the question, if we don’t address his immediate concerns and needs. Ironically,  we are rapidly spending his college fund so that he will have the best chance possible to go to college.

Adam’s journey has changed who I am. It has changed who Chris is. It has changed who my two older children are. It has changed us as a family. I think that anyone who has experienced a crisis with a child will agree. It is life altering, life changing and most of the time happens suddenly.

For one Saturday in January of 2010, I had just brought  Adam home from tae kwon do.

As I was making lunch, he suddenly started speaking ‘jibberish’, his eyes rolled back and he vomited.

Suddenly, the paramedics were rushing him to the hospital for he was having a seizure.

Suddenly, I realize that the doctors and nurses are cutting off his beloved tae kwon do uniform and rapidly hooking him up to every machine imaginable.

Suddenly, I notice the ER doctor pacing and shouting orders, as I am told that Adam’s seizure is continuing… 40 minutes after our arrival at the hospital.

Suddenly, I am at Adam’s side, pleading with God to let me have more time with my son.

Then suddenly, my prayers are answered. The seizure is over.

Suddenly, I notice that I am straddling my son on a gurney as we are being whisked to a CT scan in search of what caused the seizure.

Suddenly,  a nurse is waving consents in my face as she is rattling off the possibility of a brain tumor, an aneurysm and a number of other frightening conditions that never, ever, entered my mind.

And suddenly, I find myself in the front seat of a transport ambulance,  a wall of glass dividing Adam and me, as a nurse, delivers deliberate ventilations during the entire 30 minute ride to the children’s hospital.

Suddenly, I realize that his life is in their hands.

Suddenly I feel completely helpless as I watch him lying in bed, machines keeping him alive.

Then suddenly, a friend posing as my ‘sister’ talks her way into the ICU for no other reason than just to be by my side.

And suddenly I have perspective.

Suddenly, after spending two hours speaking with our neurologist we finally have a diagnosis after 5 years of searching.

Suddenly, as crazy as it sounds, I feel nothing but relief. I’m grateful that my longtime suspicions are finally confirmed.

And suddenly I have perspective. Nothing in the world mattered, except walking out of that hospital with Adam.

Suddenly life as we know it has changed, and in some ways it is completely the same.

Suddenly our lives are dictated by speech, occupational, and behavioral therapy appointments. Not to mentions intense tutoring sessions.

Suddenly, I have perspective.

Suddenly, I realize that the things we take for granted are the most difficult tasks for Adam to master.

Suddenly I have perspective.

Suddenly, I realize that every baby step  that Adam tackles is actually a huge victory.

Suddenly I have perspective.

Suddenly I find myself agreeing with teachers,and then adamantly disagreeing with teachers;

Suddenly I find myself researching, educating and advocating. Advocating, educating, and researching. This part never ends.

Suddenly I find myself crying and laughing all in the same moment.

Suddenly I feel hopeless.

Suddenly I feel hopeful; then hopeless; then hopeful again.

Suddenly longtime friends feel like distant strangers.

Suddenly distant strangers become my best friends.

And suddenly an entire salon is selflessly honoring my son and individuals just like him; by raising money to support autism research.

Salon Coccole Autism Awareness 2016

Suddenly, I realize that in his short 12 years, Adam has taught me so much about love, hope, compassion, perseverance, bravery and patience.

Suddenly, I have perspective.

** A version of this story appeared on The Mighty

 

 

 

Kimberly Ketcham
Hello! I am excited and honored to be sharing my son's and my family's journey with Autism with you. Adam's journey to his diagnosis has been long and complicated. I spent over 5 years trying to convince his doctors that he has Autism. His diagnosis continues to evolve. Autism is funny. Autism can suck. One thing is certian. I can't change it. I decided a long time ago that I can look at my glass half empty or I can look at it half full. My glass is definitely full. Adam has taught all of us more than I could ever thought possible. Calling myself a writer was something that I never intended. My writing started by sharing excerpts of our life with my friends on Facebook. I quickly learned that although sharing Adam's stories was helping others, it was very therapeutic for me. I have a Master's degree in Exercise Physiology. I work as an Exercise Physiologist in Cardiopulmonary Rehab. I love my job. I love helping my patients return to living and loving their lives after they have been diagnosed with cardiac or pulmonary disease. I love talking to them and hearing their stories. I have learned so much from my patients. I truly believe in my heart that we are all here to share our stories for you honestly never know when your words will help someone. I'm thrilled to be here as a contributing writer on Master Stories. In addition, I contribute to The Mighty and Yahoo Parenting. I hope that you enjoy reading about Adam's and our family's journey with Autism. You can also follow me on my website talesfromthebutt.com or like my page on Facebook - Tales From the Butt - Our Family's Journey With Autism. I'd love to connect with you! Thank you for allowing me to share my story!

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